“I’m sorry for the person I became. I’m sorry that it took so long for me to change. I’m ready to be sure I never become that way again because who I am hates who I’ve been.”

I couldn’t think of a more perfect song right now. I’m listening to it over and over and over again in hope that it’ll help me find my old self back. And yes I know I said I was gonna be gone from tumblr for awhile, but I had to post this song. Back to invisible now.

I deactivated my Facebook and Twitter account. This is the last thing to go. I’ll be back, but right now I need to do some soul searching and figure out who I was before I changed into this person I hate. I hate reading things on Facebook and Twitter that make my heart sink to my butt. I don’t want the discouragement or negative thoughts while I’m trying to change for the better. This is just a start, but I’m not gonna stop till I find myself again. I want the old me back. So bye guys! I’ll be back on when I’m back to my old self. Take care.

indie-haze:

this is my brother two years ago. we were at the park, just me and him, and he turned to me and said “kayla, don’t you ever wish there were no bad people in the world?” i thought it to be a funny thing for a 5 year old to say, but shrugged it off. last year, he didnt come home from school, we thought that being only in grade prep, he might’ve decided to go home with his bestfriend without telling us, but he didn’t.  the school confirmed they saw him get on his school bus after the bell rang. but thats all we knew, the bus driver said that he had gotten off a stop early, my mother was frantically searching the neighbourhood for him. we never found him. it’s been two years and we’re still looking for him, he was such a beautiful boy, and i cant help but think the worst. he could be anywhere in the world by now, so please, reblog this, no matter where you’re from, you could save a life. xx

This time I broke both of our hearts. I feel absolutely disgusted with myself. Hurting someone so amazing can really make you hate yourself. All I can do now is wait for him to forgive me and then maybe we can work things out then. Right now the tensions and stress levels are too high between us. Time heals everything so I need to give us time. Him and I truly have something special and I think if we’re meant to be then we’ll find a way to be, no matter what happens. No matter what the odds, I’ll never stop fighting for him and I’ll always be here for him when he wants/needs me. Anger makes you do and say things you don’t mean. Anger makes you regret. So now, I’ve learned that I can’t let anger get the best of me. I can’t let myself say things I don’t mean while angry. I have learned from this and if he ever finds it in his heart to forgive me and give me another shot then I can honestly say this will never happen again. I’m going to continue to change to be perfect for him. I’m never going to give up on him. I love him too damn much to let him go.

gottagueta:

Exactly

funniest10k:

Click here for the funnest blog you will EVER follow

I deserve everything that’s getting handed to me. I fucked up the best thing I’ve ever had and it’s entirely my fault. I’m so stupid and I don’t deserve to be with someone as amazing as him. It kills me to know I hurt the one I love. It fucking kills to know I made him so unhappy. I deserve to be miserable now. He deserves to be happy and if that’s without me, then I’ll have to accept that. I love him more than he’ll ever know and I guess I need to let him go so that he can be happy.